Taxes and apple juice

Ah, what a day. Beautiful weather. I stopped by the local bike shop for a semi-regular economic stimulus donation, and to check on the Trek. It's being painted, apparently, so that's good. I probably shouldn't have pawned the TCR before the Trek arrived, but live and learn. Using my awesome prescience, I determined I should also go to the grocery store, said store being closed for Easter. Anticipating a desire to eat tomorrow, I went to the store. Then, in another astounding display of precognition, I went for a two-hour ride on Velotron...knowing I'd reserved the evening hours for finishing my taxes.

Yes, it's shocking to see how much money the government takes from me every year. I kind of don't notice it on the paycheck stub...but every year around this time I get slapped in the face with it.
It's bad enough they take my money, and give it directly to rich people (economic bailout bonus, anyone?). Not to mention the local, poorly-maintained roads. And the police people who, difficult job though they may have, frequently choose to ignore the very laws they are supposed to be enforcing. Turn signal? Stop sign? Pedestrian obstacle? Ah, you're a cop, do whatever you want. Just check for video cameras pointed in your direction first. Chesterfield in general appears to be staunchly anti-cyclist. Bike lanes? Ha. Traffic signals that detect bikes? Dream on. A couple of "Share the Road" signs is all City Hall could be bothered with. They'll be happy to take my money, though.
I was tempted, at one point, to fudge a little and get a little of my hard-earned money - well earned money...ok money - back. Adjust a little number there, check a little box there...who would ever know? If there's one thing I have learned, it's don't f--- with the IRS. So I didn't. I was a good little citizen. You don't screw with the people holding the pursestrings. Just look at Al Capone. Ran a criminal empire, murdered people with impunity (much like drunk motorists, in that regard); walked free. Thrown in the slammer by the IRS.

All in all, tax season cost me countless thousands of dollars, and a half-gallon of apple juice. Fuel for the furious furnace of my tax-form-filing mind. I wonder if I can deduct that...

Struck down!

Ahoy. Yep, three days ago an unknown invader gained entry into my body, and wreaked havoc. Fortunately my awesome immune system put the beat-down on the invading bastard(s). All in all, pretty normal for this time of year. I have allergies. Pollen = sinus infection = weakened immune system = larger, worse infection takes hold. I get sinus infections all the time, its been par for the course for decades. No biggie, for the most part. But, in the spring and fall, the recurring sinus infections seem to pave the way for other nasties. Tuesday, I woke up feeling rotten. Went in to work late, and slogged through the day. Went in to work for a whole hour Wednesday, then gave up the fight and went home. Spent today largely unconscious, as my super-powered immune system waged war on the encroaching barbarian hordes. Fatigue, fever, cold sweats, aches, headaches...all signs of an immune system valiantly and - so far - successfully fending off attack. I can't recall any illness bad enough to need external intervention, a.k.a. antibiotics/antivirals. Someday, I'm sure I will meet my match, but not yet. Until next time, evil minions of microscopic mayhem. Score another one for the homo sapiens immune system, incredibly complex and effective marvel of evolution.

Being educated in molecular biology, as I am, gives you an appreciation for the immune system. So, dear reader, next time you get the "common cold" take a moment to thank your body for the tireless war on invaders it fights on your behalf. Don't mope around cursing your body for aching, or sneezing, or getting a fever...it's doing it for you. Unless, of course, you are a victim of an extreme auto-immune disorder, in which case you have my full sympathy. The immune system is, as a said, a marvelous and wonderful thing. But the same traits that make it nearly invincible, make it equally hard to control when things go wrong.

But for the rest of us, when you get sick, go to bed and let your body do what it does best. Fight. Well, maybe the 2nd best...we all know what the #1 priority of our body is. And depending on your preferences, it may have something to do with this:Yow. I need to go do some sit-ups. Maybe a lot of sit-ups.

Brian's Bikes Part Two

Velotron! In my continuing series of bikes, here's another. I apologize for the non-action photo, but I'm sure you'll manage. This bike has a relatively mundane story, though hidden within the story are the kernels of glory. You see, my first "real" bike was a Centurion Ironman Master, 1987 vintage. Dave Scott Edition. Semi-sloping investment cast fork crowns, which are gorgeous thank you. It was my first introduction to real road riding, and I rode the crap out of it. I still have that bike, and tales of its' genesis will be forthcoming. Needless to say it is more of a museum piece now. So, to relive the glory years, I bought an identical frame and built it up with modern SRAM Rival components, and modern Open Pro wheels. Actually this is the 2nd of those frames, as the first was damaged in shipping and is no longer with us. It was, in a way, "meant to be". I bought it off eBay, but the seller lived only a few miles away. How's that for coincidence? Same year, same size, same color? Come on! Destiny! This frame is in astonishingly good condition. No significant chips, no rust, no dents, dings, or other flaws. Even the inside of the tubes are rust-free, and I made sure they stay that way with some Frame Saver. Tange #1 steel tubing, "Designed" in the USA, but made in Japan. Hey, I was poor, I bought what I could afford. Still, Japan was just starting to break into the U.S. market during the Greg Lemond "Boom Years", and were building some top-notch stuff to compete with the established marques. If it was good enough for Dave Scott, by golly, it was good enough for me! Though I had no idea who Dave Scott was...triathlete apparently. The dear departed Sheldon Brown also took an interest in the story behind the Centurion line, and has an excellent article here.

Few of my many bikes are worthy of names. Two, actually. Velotron (the one you're looking at) and the SUB. Generally it takes many, many hours and many, many miles logged and some kind of personal attachment to form before I even bother with a name. I anticipate the new Trek will just be "the plastic Trek" for a year or two, depending on how it performs. Velotron got a name right off the bat, because of it's heritage. And it does not disappoint. Velotron. Remember that old '80's cartoon, "Voltron"?


With the robot lions that...er...mated...um...and became Voltron the ass-kicking, sword-swinging giant robot, renowned defeater of evildoers*? In my infinite creativity I just took that and put the cycling spin on it, and there you have it. I'm a biologist/robot repairman, what do you expect? Freaking Shakespeare? Get over it.

Yes, yes that is a Turbo saddle. A very popular saddle back in "the Day", so I had to find one for Velotron. Surprisingly, you can still find new old stock, in the original box Turbo's for sale here and there. Velotron lacks the World Champion stripes, but it's mostly the same. And surprisingly comfortable. It is, after all, the saddle my butt molded itself to in its formative years.

So if you see me and Velotron out and about, say hello. But don't make us angry...rumor has it that Velotron usurped some of Voltron's "Defender of the Universe" technology, and could well kick your ass. Watch yourself.

*The question with Volton, as with all similar tales (Power Rangers, Thundercats, etc.) is why did they wait until the individual lions had had their asses beat down, on the verge of total annihilation, before...ahem...getting together and forming the invincible robot? Why not just do the deed, put the beatdown on the evildoer right off the bat, and get 'er done? There was no particular consequence or cost of forming Voltron that I could discern. Must be some clever message along the lines of "united we stand divided we fall." Or just lazy writers. Or something.

Bed Buddy

Yeah, get your mind out of the gutter. A friend of mine introduced me to this marvel of technology a while back, and I am enjoying the benefits right now. Ever "sleep wrong", have a cramped muscle, just ache, or whatever? Bed Buddy. Get one. Essentially it's rice in a glorified sock. Pop it in the microwave, heat it up, throw it on the bad muscle. Problem solved.

Apparently cold-blooded people use them to pre-heat their beds. I am not cold-blooded, but it does wonders for sore muscles. I'm too tall to fit into bathtubs, you see, so I get my thermal therapy where I can find it, which is at WalGreens. Apparently you can also throw it in the freezer and use it as a cold pack, but I've never tried that...

Giant TCR - now available to you!

My 2004 Giant TCR Alloy. Currently on eBAY, do a search for 2004 Giant TCR XL and you should be able to find it. Own a piece of bthoss history! The listing is scheduled to end around April 10th, so hurry if you want it!

This bike came to be mine kind of by accident. I had been haunting a great local shop, The Hub, and had ordered a Giant OCR, with carbon frame. My first attempt to dabble in carbon. While it was on order, Alex from The Hub called, with a proposition. He had another buyer who really, really wanted my OCR. And was willing to pay to get mine, rather than wait for his own. Alex had tracked down the TCR bike to offer me, and wanted to make a deal. I cruised down to The Hub, took it out for an extended test ride, and wheeled and dealed a bit. I really liked the ONCE yellow paint, mostly because my Centurion is yellow. Wound up getting around 30% off retail, and I couldn't resist. After a few vital upgrades (compact cranks chief among them) it was turned into quite an awesome bike. Absurdly short chainstays, fairly aggressive geometry, and yet overall pretty comfortable with great handling.

The Hub, by the way, is a great shop. The SUB also came from there. It's in Webster Groves, kind of a long haul for me. But if you are in the area, check them out.

It was, predicatably, used for most road-riding needs. Any longish rides, group rides, and of course the MS150. Comfort was borderline for centuries, as my feet would go numb, and I had to constantly shuffle my hands to different positions. Oddly, my posterior was fine, probably due to the awesome Flite saddle. I always blamed the "buzz" of aluminum, but maybe that was all in my head. The frame does have a high-pitched tone to it, though. Frame "tone" is an interesting topic (for nerds), maybe I'll post about it someday.

After 5 years, it's time to go. I'm moving on to a carbon frame, to finally see what all the hype is about (after 15 years or so of procrastination), so the Giant must go.

And, in the "too little, too late" department, the new Ultegra is finally getting rid of the stupid cables-sticking-out-the-side-of-the-brake-hoods thing. Solely because of SRAM. I had never thought about it, riding gigantic frames as I do, but TK of local fame pointed out to me that under-the-tape gear cable routing can cause trouble on smaller frames, in some cases. So Shimano's cable routing may have had it's merits, but sure looked stupid. Learn something every day.

Inspiration!

The departure of the TCR has given me inspiration. I have a lot of bikes. Three of them get the most mileage, the others only occasionally. A few of them have mildly interesting stories attached in one way or another. I think, as the arrival of the Trek approaches, I will do a little photo-documentary of each bike (at least, those still remaining, sniffle sniffle), how it came to be in my possession, and any other damn thing I feel like posting about it. I'm not crying, it's allergies. Shut up.

Stay tuned for the edge-of-your-seat excitement! Here are a couple teaser photos:

Trauma!

Two life-altering events have transpired recently. One, I half tore off my left big toenail. Pain was minimal, minimum bloodshed. However, some of you - my faithful and numerous readers - may recall that I have a terrible phobia surrounding fingernails and toenails. The contemplation and remembrance of the event is far, far worse than the actual physical damage. I shudder, get chills and nausea just thinking about it.

Second, today two of my bikes rolled out the door, to be auctioned off on eBay. Fortunately, a local guy (thanks TK) has recently started an eBay store and will take care of all the work for me. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'd have the heart. I once donated/sold for cheap an old Paramount mountain bike (fully rigid steel, back in The Day) to a friend, but this is the first time I'll be giving up precious bikes to strangers. The TCR, with its gorgeous yellow paint, would surely wither away in the corner once the shiny new carbon bike appears, and it doesn't deserve that horrible fate of so many bikes. Centurion #3, also beautifully yellow but with mangled frame, will likely be stripped down and sold for parts. Hopefully a lot of people of "a certain age" will fondly recall the Shimano 600 parts and get some enjoyment from them.

Some people - not everyone - develop a sentimental attachment to their bikes. I am one of the sentimental types. Centurion #3, not so much, as I barely put 40 miles on it due to the mangled frame. But the TCR has proudly hauled my large backside around for 5 years now, never complaining. It was my first "modern" road bike, made of aluminum and stiff as a board. I'm sure I'll come to regret getting rid of it, but there you go. It's better suited to racing than to my leisurely rides. I hope someone buys it who will put it to good use, maybe even take it to the local criterium series and let it shine in its fluorescent yellow glory in front of admiring fans.

Do you remember the time I put cheap wheels on you, and a spoke broke during the MS150, and we had to limp along for 10 miles? Or the time Creve Coeur Park flooded, and we turned around because I couldn't bear to immerse you in muddy water?

Farewell, good friends, and godspeed.