Did it

Lo, for many eons have I pined after a carbon fiber bicycle. For as many eons, I have preferred steel bikes, as evidenced by the "two brothers", hailing from the mid '80's:

Actually I have three of them, because I'm crazy. But one has a mangled downtube, one is the original and too sacred to ride, and the third (with the absurdly wide bars) is Velotron. Steel provides a smooth, relaxing ride but tends to flex, noodle, and otherwise deform under my enormous bulk.

Initially I stayed away from carbon because of my false notion of carbon having a short fatigue life. My dear brother, a wise aerospace engineer at Boeing, set me straight on that. Then I stayed away because I thought my vast mass would crumple a carbon frame in short order.

Then I meet "Big Jim" at a local bike shop. He is, unsurprisingly, a big dude. Towering over me, and out-weighing me by a fair margin. And he just happens to ride the same model bike I was eyeing. And it happened to be the same size frame I would ride. Since the shop didn't have a demo in my size, Jim was kind enough to allow me to take it for a spin. Excellent customer service, by the way.

So, a bit later, I got fitted up and plunked down some money to order this:

It will take roughly 30 days for it to arrive. Probably not as brain-boilingly orange as the SUB, but as close as I could get. Safety, you know. Yeah, that's it. Mine will have white hoods and different wheels. But you get the idea.

So now, when I get dropped by excited roadies, I won't be able to blame my noodly bike. Next thing you know I'll have a power meter and carbon wheels.