New Year's Eve...again?!?!?!

Well it's that time of year when some of us look back at the year nearly passed. Some notable changes this year:

1) Around August, I received an early Christmas gift, in the form of my niece Madelyn! She likes shiny things, movement, and believes the entire world is meant to be eaten. In this photo (courtesy of Tim Productions, LLC), she is mesmerized by the shiny bow, and is wondering how she can get it into her mouth.
2) Built "Velotron", a bike I've been thinking about for many years.3) Have been in the role of robot repairman at Pfizer for a full year now. It still astounds me that they trust me to keep ridiculously expensive robots working, and even more so they trust me to not utterly destroy them. This in itself is odd enough, but considering my education is in molecular biology, and my original career was in genetics, it's a little strange. Although being in a service job can sometimes by trying - even with my legendary patience - getting knee-deep in complicated electro-mechanical contraptions is a joy for me. It combines my affinity for gadgets, computers, and science. And, unlike bench science, it lets me roam free and get to know lots of different people and the science they're doing. Although I bitch and moan about Pfizer and its astounding bureacracy, it's a good job.

4) Gained more weight. This is going to have to change in 2009, as I am well and truly fed up with it. Makes it impossible to go up hills on the bike with any kind of velocity. Not to mention it's not particularly healthy.

5) Moved to a new place which is WAY better than the old hovel. And I only have two bikes parked in the living room, instead of 6. The 2nd bedroom is for bike storage...

6) The Super Wagon is still a joy to drive.

7) I marvel at how I still feel like a kid, in a 36-year-old body. Sure I get the occasional creak and groan, my eyes don't switch focus as fast they used to (and I notice it), my brain isn't quite as quick as it used to be (still plenty quick though, thank you), and all the other little things that go along with getting older. But in my brain I'm still a kid, still amazed by little things and easily amused. And that makes all the difference in the world.

8) My back, which was plagued with agony the past few years, is doing amazingly well! I attribute that to more exercise and, mostly, spending more time on the road bikes. Somehow it helps, I can't explain why.

9) I'm very, very happy my brother managed to get a great girl to love him, get married, and start a family. Amy is the best sister-in-law a person could ask for, it's obvious that they love each other very much, and it makes me happy that they are so happy. And "M" is wonderful.

10) I am strangely not bothered by not having found my own wife. You would think it would, me getting up there in years and all. There have been a couple of close calls with women I've wanted to marry...but neither of them worked out. One of them probably for the best. I still wonder about the other one, though...what might have been. Emily...yes my one big regret that I was too young and stupid to realize how wonderful you are. I hope you're happy now and met a guy who appreciates you. But everything works out, and I can't complain.

11) Hair. I'm very happy I still have all my hair. I don't generally think about it much, but that's probably because it's all still there. Just a little greyer these days. And better groomed because of my excellent hair stylist (and friend) Elizabeth.

12) And lastly, I'm deliriously happy that I still love riding bicycles. After 25 years of riding, you'd think it'd get old, but it never does. If you don't ride, I'm sorry to say you have no idea. When the bicycling bug has you, it's a wonderful thing. The sense of freedom, speed, quiet, power...well it's beyond words. I can only hope everyone has something in their life that makes them so happy. Otherwise, what's the point?

Hard to believe it's almost 2009. My brain is still stuck in the '80s. Back when Windows would fit on a floppy disk, and my computer didn't even have a hard drive.
I hope everyone had a great 2008, and looks forward to 2009. Here's hoping!

Charities and phone spam

Now you've done it. Due to all the incessant phone calls in the month leading up to Christmas, I will now be boycotting any charity that has ever called me. AHA, ADA, fraternity of cops...you know who you are. I gave you money once, and now have to endure relentless requests for more money, years after the fact? Enough is enough. When you run out of money and people start dying and/or starving because all the charities went bankrupt...now you know why.

I try not to be too much of a jerk, and would certainly like to help out my fellow humans. But getting FOUR FREAKING PHONE CALLS A DAY from EACH AND EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU has driven me over the edge. I'll be keeping my money, thank you. You can suck eggs, maybe try panhandling outside WalMart.

I'm sure if I was motivated enough to hire a lawyer, you would lose. Repeated verbal and written requests to leave me alone had no result. My CallerID has logs of how often you called. Surely that qualifies for harassment. You could not only be sent to jail - I'm sure you would not honor a restraining order - but also have the crap sued out of you. "Oh, jury, the pain and suffering of the constant phone calls drove me to quit my job and become a hermit for five years. I'm suing for five years of lost wages, interest, medical bills to treat the parasite infections from my shack in Montana, and legal fees." That's, what, about $20 million? Burning coffee has nothing on the burning of my rage.

Bike ride!

Ah, the late December bike ride. Nothing better. It was a balmy 47 degrees today, mild wind of 10-15mph. Me and Velotron headed out to Creve Coeur Park for some peaceful car-free cycling. Aside from all the pedestrian traffic, it was glorious! The Missouri River is also clear of ice...just three days ago it looked like the Artic Ocean. Here's a picture of Velotron on the Page Bridge pedestrian path, looking north into St. Charles. My apologies for the crappy phone picture, see my post about needing a camera...


Unfortunately, my legs were like Jello. I tried to put the power down, but nothing happened. It was like pushing on the pedals with wet noodles. Clearly I need to spend more quality time on the indoor trainer, sigh. A pair of cyclists in THF Realty kit passed me on Hog Hollow like I was standing still. Or even going backwards. That's just embarrassing, and Velotron was not pleased, either. I think I need to buy a Tour de France video for motivation while on that pesky indoor trainer.

Technology = collapse of civilization

Yes, it's true. And I can explain why. It's convoluted, so stay with me. It all began many, many years ago when I was a wee tyke. A nice suburban upbringing, my parents provided everything we needed. But NOT everything we wanted, which actually worked out well. So, my brother and I and our friends would get bored over the summer. Boredom would lead to desperation for entertainment, so we'd use our imaginations to invent games, virtual reality, etc. to entertain ourselves. Walking 5 miles to the gas station to buy fruit pies was a huge adventure.

Nowadays, and I could be wrong, but it seems the suburban kids do not suffer from boredom. They have computers, a billion channels of TV, blogs, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace...all these things that banish boredom. So you don't need to use your imagination at all, because boredom is not a problem.

So, my contention is that kids don't need to use their imagination to entertain themselves. Xboxes and Playstations create virtual worlds of mind-blowing resolution. Texting and cell phones means someone is always instantly available. It's easier to use some paid professional's imagination - through technology - than you own. And everyone likes easy. Trouble starts when that easiness goes too far.

The problem is this. I think imagination is an important part of empathy. Let's look at a case study. I'm at the airport, and the flight is cancelled. The ticket agent is having a hard time putting me on another flight. I could A) go berzerk and start yelling and threatening violence -which I have seen happen; or B) understand it's not the ticket agent's fault and try to work something out. If I have imagination, it's easier for me to "put myself in someone else's shoes", and more easily understand that hey...think how the poor ticket agent feels. They have to deal with enraged customers every stinking day. It's easier for me to take the nice approach, if I imagine the suffering the poor ticket agent is going through with me. That's what they call empathy.

Without empathy, more and more people will demand instant gratification and have no way to understand why everything is not perfect. As this percentage rises, violent crimes increase...and eventually we have anarchy and go the way of Rome. Rome with nuclear weapons.

This, of course, ties into cycling as well. Everyone knows that a certain percentage of motorists are asshats. They can't be bothered to wait 30 seconds to safely pass a cyclist. Some of them even feel the need to honk, scream out the window, spit on, or throw beer bottles at the cyclist. The motorists can't imagine what the cyclist is feeling...here's this giant car menacing me, which could easily spell the end of my life. The driver does not think of their enormous vehicle as a lethal weapon. Eventually cyclists will even the playing field by arming themselves with portable lethal weapons...aka guns. It all goes downhill from there, eventually arriving at the collapse of civilization.

So the next time you are inconvenienced, something isn't quite right, or someone else is being a jerk...try to step outside your own world view and imagine why that might be. Maybe the jerk's daughter just got slaughtered by a drunk driver, and they're a little on edge. Or maybe that cyclist can't afford gas and so is riding a bicycle to work, or doesn't want to be fat, or just enjoys it. Do what you can to stave off Armageddon. And try to get your kids to use their imagination. Pong was a huge hit, and it wasn't even in 3D. But it threatens the very fabric of our civilization. Plus it starts with 'P' which rhymes with 'T' which stands for trouble. Or is it Trouble starts with 'T' which rhymes with 'P' which stands for Pong?


I invite my legions of fans to comment...prove me wrong or right.

Hold on to your shoes...

My brother was kind enough to take some pictures of "Velotron" (Centurion with SRAM) using his fancy-pants ultra-sweet camera. He even burned the pics and some other stuff to DVD for me. Now all I have to do is go pick it up. What with the tornado warning today and general "Death Weather" forecast, it may have to wait until tomorrow.

Be watching for exciting high-quality pics of my favorite bike!

Sidenote: I've now started hankering for a carbon bike. The Cervelo RS is on the very short list. Reasonable price, world-class pedigree...slap some SRAM parts on it and we're good to go!

In homage to the CXmas-er's...

Yes, it was a balmy 16 degrees F out today. With wool socks, Lake winter shoes, chemical toe warmers, and a balaclava (suspiciously absent from the picture, no?) it is manageable. For a little while. Barely. Some people actually went out and participated in a non-race today at Klondike Park.

My crazed brother and I once did a night ride, in cold so fierce we had to wear snow boarding helmets, and goggles to keep our eyes from freezing over. Chew on that, Ice Bike! Our jaw-dropping pace was probably around 12mph, after factoring in the wind, snow, layers, and general hypothermia, I thought that was alright.

And remember, it's not the cold...it's the wind.

A Tale of Two Bikes

That slideshow you see to the right is my Flickr account. Currently the only thing there are pictures of my most recent bike build.

You see, back in the day, I scraped and saved to buy a glorious Centurion Ironman Master at age 15, way way back in 1986 (think Flock of Seagulls). Against the advice of my parents, I spent around $600 on it, which took approximately 3 years to earn. Fortunately, biking proved to be a lifelong love of mine. I'm currently up to 12 bikes of various types. One of them (the old Raleigh) doesn't work because the technology is so ancient and proprietary I can't be bothered to fix it just now. Despite the many options, I always pined after the original Centurion.

Don't get me wrong...I still have that bike. And it's still in excellent condition. I found myself afraid to ride it, for fear of a crazed motorist running it over. Plus vast strides have been made in bike technology in the intervening 22 years - mostly in braking and the drivetrain.

So, early this year I set about on a mission. Buy the exact same bike, and build it up with modern components. My Flickr account photojournals the build, but doesn't tell the tale. Which is what this is. Try to keep up. I found a matching bike (yellow and white Centurion Ironman Master) on eBay, cleverly outbid the competition, and won it! Alas, the downtube was mangled in shipping. Still rideable, but it makes me nervous. So the quest continued.

A few months ago, another yellow-and-white Centurion IronMan appeared on eBay. Frame and fork only, and the seller was in nearby St. Charles. This was fate, and it had to be mine. Happily, through diligence and about 3 hours tensely monitoring the end of the auction, I won! The frame and fork are in perfect condition, not even any rust in the inside of the tubes. I Framesaver'd it to keep it that way right off the bat. I then set about building it up with eBay-acquired SRAM Rival (with Red shifters) components, in the classic polished finish. Modern wheels - but with 32 spokes for that vintage look. Nitto handlebar and stem, also for the old-skool appeal.


It's everything I hoped for. Classic steel ride, modern shifting and brakes! It's a shame lugged steel construction has fallen by the wayside, as it truly has a special ride feel. Aluminum bikes do not compare. I've never ridden a carbon bike, which is supposed to be "close to" the feel of steel, so I can't judge that. For the minimum weight penalty of steel, I'll just stick with the benchmark material, thank you. The weight penalty of my gut far outweighs the frame.

So, click through to Flickr to see the actual photos. No action shots yet, as it's the dead of winter here in St. Louis. It's been out a few times, but not exactly photo-op weather. Also see my post about my pitiful camera.

I need a new camera...

Well this blog will be boring without photos. Sadly, my camera is ancient...1 megapixel! I think I'll start looking for a nice new digital camera with fancy Bluetooth so my lazy self can upload images without having to move too much.

Here I am

I have a blog. I'm now trying to learn how to use it...bear with me.